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What is resilience?
“Resilience is something you only realize you have after the fact.” This is what the Harvard Business Review says about “How Resilience Works”.Resilience comes into play when it comes to why resilient people are able to deal well with difficult situations and personal crises, while other people are very challenged by the same situation.According to the review, this is due to 3 competencies that “resilient” people have:
- acceptance → The ability to accept harsh realities coolly (original: “to coolly accept the harsh realities facing them”)
- Finding meaning → The quality of finding meaning in life even in difficult times (original: “to find meaning in terrible times”)
- Flexibility/Improvisation/Simplicity → The quality of having an incredible ability to improvise and make do with what is there (original: “to have an uncanny ability to improvise, making do with whatever's at hand”)
Resilience is not something you either have or don't have. You can learn resilience and thus strengthen your (mental) health.
A small comparison:
Metaphorically, you could think of the image of a surfer.
The wave is the challenge. Especially at the beginning, when you're learning to surf, you feel like you're drowning. You might not even know which way is up and which way is down because you're being tossed around by the power of the waves.
The more you practise, the easier it becomes to read the waves and surf them instead of being washed over.
And at some point it even starts to be fun and you dare to try out little tricks. You lose the fear of feeling overwhelmed and develop more confidence in yourself.
7 pillars of resilience based on the model by Dr. Franziska Wiebel
There is a model with “7 pillars of resilience”. In addition to the 3 characteristics mentioned above, they contain other basic attitudes and practices in which “resilient” people are practiced. They can also help you to strengthen your resilience and improve the way you deal with crises.
The basic attitudes include:
Acceptance
On the one hand, this is about accepting external circumstances that cannot be changed. On the other hand, it is about self-acceptance. Accepting yourself as you are right now.
Attachment
Social support is a protective factor for illness. As humans, we are social beings and seek connection. Simply by not being part of a community in the past, we have often died. The quality of your relationships with those close to you is crucial to how held, seen and supported you feel.
Solution Orientation
Rather than getting bogged down in the scope of the problem, it helps to look at the possibility that there may be a simple solution. Allow yourself to ask yourself the question: Is there a simple, easily achievable solution to what is currently bothering me?
Healthy optimism
Healthy optimism does not mean that you should suddenly think everything is great, but that you consciously focus on things that are good and do you good. One possibility would be a gratitude ritual in which you occasionally become aware of where you are richly blessed in your life alongside your challenges (for example: running water, electricity, a roof over your head, (warm) food, access to doctors and medical services, etc.).
Practices include:
Self-awareness
Through self-awareness, you also strengthen your relationship with yourself. You get to know your body better, learn to understand signals better and in the long run it will be easier for you to perceive and interpret signals early on.
Self-reflection
This means that you take time to pause and feel what is going on inside you and what has already happened during the day.
“How are you feeling right now?” “How are you feeling?” “What do you need right now? ”
Emotions are often an indication that there is a need. When we are stressed, we feel the need to take a break. See if this could be helpful for you too.
Self-efficacy
This means taking responsibility for our actions. Knowing that our actions have an impact. And knowing that we should take the helm ourselves. In other words, cultivating things that remind us of our resources in challenging times.
How do I become resilient?
Unfortunately, just reading this post does not make you more resilient in the face of personal challenges and crises. But it may initiate a process. To strengthen your everyday resilience, you need to practice, preferably on a daily basis. Choose one of the pillars for a period of time and practise it.
Be patient with yourself. Resilience doesn't happen overnight. It is a daily challenge and at the same time a daily joy, as you will find out over time. Because it gets easier. Tell others about what you are doing and what you have discovered. You will notice that it will be easier for you to stick with it.Maintain your lightness in the process. Don't force anything on yourself. It shouldn't make your life harder, but easier.
Stop often enough to reflect on your process and see which skills you have already improved. You might even like to keep a little diary to record your progress. It also helps to talk to other people, attend courses on the subject and read books. The more the topic of resilience surrounds you, the more you will effortlessly incorporate it into your life. Simply deciding that you want to integrate more resilience into your life will bring more resilience into your life and have a positive impact on your health. And remember that:
So don't forget to have fun during the whole process and celebrate even the smallest successes.
This will help you to cope better with crises, challenges and setbacks step by step and strengthen your health in the long term.
