The term resilience is used in many different areas. It comes from the Latin of resilience, What “jump back, bounce” means.

• In the engineering sciences It describes the ability of technical systems not to completely fail in the event of a partial failure.
• In ecosystem It describes the ability of an ecosystem to return to its initial state after a disturbance.
• In the sociology It describes the ability of societies to cope with external disruptions.
• In the psychology It describes the ability to survive difficult life situations (crises) without lasting impairment, or to recover (quickly) from them.

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What is resilience anyway?

“Resilience is something where you only recognize that you have it in retrospect.” This is what the Harvard Business Review says about the topic “How Resilience Works.”

Resilience comes into play when it comes to why resilient people are able to deal well with difficult situations and personal crises, while other people with the same situation are very challenged.

According to the review, this is due to 3 competencies that “resilient” people have:

1. acceptance → The ability to calmly accept harsh realities (original: “to coolly accept the harsh realities facing them”)
2. Find meaning → The ability to find meaning in life even in difficult times (original: “to find meaning in terrible times”)
3. Flexibility/improvisation/frugality → The quality of having an incredible ability to improvise and being content with what is there (original: “to have an uncanny ability to improvise, making do with someone's at hand”)

Resilience isn't something you either have or don't have. You can learn resilience and thus strengthen your (mental) health.

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Here's a quick comparison:

Metaphorically, you could imagine a surfer.

The wave is the challenge. Especially at the beginning, when you learn to surf, you feel more like you're drowning. You may even not even know where down and up is because you are whirled around by the power of the waves.

The more you practice, the easier it becomes to read the waves and surf them instead of being washed over.

And at some point, it even starts to be fun and you dare to try out little tricks. You lose the fear of feeling overwhelmed and develop more confidence in yourself.

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7 pillars of resilience based on the model by Dr. Franziska Wiebel

There is a model with “7 pillars of resilience.” In addition to the 3 qualities mentioned above, they also contain other basic attitudes and practices in which “resilient” people are practiced. They can also help you to strengthen your resilience and improve how you deal with crises.

The basic attitudes include:

acceptance

On the one hand, this involves accepting external circumstances that cannot be changed right now. On the other hand, it's about self-acceptance. To accept yourself as you are right now.

bond

Social support is a protective factor for illness. As humans, we're social beings and we're looking for connection. Simply because we often died when we were not part of a community before. The quality of your relationships with people who are close to you is decisive for how you feel held, seen and supported.

Solution orientation

Instead of sinking into the scope of the problem, it helps a lot more to look at the possibility that there might be an easy solution. Just allow yourself the question: Is there a simple, easy-to-implement solution to what is bothering me right now?

Healthy optimism

Healthy optimism doesn't mean that you should find everything great all at once, but that you consciously focus on things that are good and good for you. One option would be a ritual of gratitude in which you become aware from time to time where, in addition to your challenges, you are richly gifted (for example: running water, electricity, a roof over your head, (hot) food, access to doctors and medical services,...)

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Practices include:

Self-perception

Through self-awareness, you also strengthen your relationship with yourself. You will get to know your body better, learn to understand signals better and in the long run it will be easier for you to perceive signals early on and be able to interpret them well.

Self-reflection

This means that you take time to pause and feel what is happening within you and has already happened during the day. “How are you doing right now?” “How do you feel?” “What do you need right now?” Emotions are often an indication that there is a need. When we're stressed, we feel the need to take a break. See if that could be helpful for you too.

Self-Efficacy

That means as much as taking responsibility for our actions. Knowing that our actions have an impact. And to know that we should take the helm into our own hands. In other words, cultivate things that remind us of our resources in challenging times.

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How do I become resilient?

Unfortunately, just reading this post doesn't make you more resilient when faced with personal challenges and crises. But it may trigger a process. Strengthening your everyday resilience requires practice, preferably daily. To do this, choose one of the pillars for a period of time and practice it.

Be patient with yourself while doing so. Resilience doesn't come overnight. It is a daily challenge and at the same time a daily joy, as you will find out over the course of time. Because it's getting easier. Tell others about what you're doing and what you've just discovered. You'll notice that it'll be easier for you to stick with it.

Maintain your ease in the process. Don't impose anything on yourself with it. It's not meant to make your life harder, but easier.

Stop often enough to reflect on your process and see which skills you've already improved. You might even want to keep a small journal to keep track of your progress. It also helps to exchange ideas with other people, attend courses on the subject and read books. The more resilience surrounds you, the more you will effortlessly incorporate it into your life. Just the decision that you want to integrate more resilience into your life will bring you more resilience into your life and have a positive effect on your health. And remember that:

So don't forget to have fun with the whole process and celebrate even the smallest successes! Step by step, you will be able to deal better with crises, challenges and precipitation and strengthen your health in the long term.